I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
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I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
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Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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