Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
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I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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