im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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