I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
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Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
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And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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