My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
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