I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
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It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
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Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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