Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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