so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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