I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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