operation have a gay friend backfired
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
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Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
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Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize