i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
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I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
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You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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