i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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