There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
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