We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
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I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
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There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
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