sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize