i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
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