Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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