You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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