Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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