I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
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how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
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Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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