Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
We are two peas in an std pod
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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