I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize