I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
we made out on top of his cat.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Randomize