dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Randomize