you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
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It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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