that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
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I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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