Me. At least after what I've been through.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
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I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
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Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize