I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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