i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
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