my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Randomize