Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize