lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize