At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
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