and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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