I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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