college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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