at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Randomize