And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize