i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
He's a Shit stain on my heart
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
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