I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
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