oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
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