the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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