i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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