season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
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