i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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