im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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