This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
You can't motorboat a personality
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize