I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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