can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
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Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
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Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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