Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
i out mim tonsoeep
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