We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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