I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
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I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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